This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I smell like Dick and happiness
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
