I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
