Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
