so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
