dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
