Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
