Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
