How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
