let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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