i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
try to milk me bitch
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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