So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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