I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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