You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize