office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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