10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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