she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
