i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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