I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
