you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hippo gnu deer
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize