And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
