Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
