I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
