Quick, to the slutcave!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize