All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
