While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
