Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
