Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
