I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
