dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
