you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
