Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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