Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize