I just made out with a guy for $7.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
no, he came in my armpit
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
