Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Text me some of your sweat
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
