i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
