Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Randomize
