afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
