Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
