Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
