how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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