so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
