she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize