i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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