Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
