Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
