i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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