I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
