Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
