he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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