dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
