I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
