I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
