Swine flu. Run for my life!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
