I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Damn victory sex feels great
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
