wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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