If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
