I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
